Friday, April 8, 2016

Queen Esther and Courage

Many times in the beginning of my recovery journey I found I lacked courage or Faith with in myself to continue the course. My marriage was rocky and I had already been married once before so I knew what the outcome would feel like if I gave up on me, him or us. Things weren't looking up... I often would start my day watching Mormon Messages and I would watch video after video feeling my soul with encouraging messages.. I came across a favorite:
https://www.mormonchannel.org/watch/series/mormon-messages/courage-1

This mormon message on Queen Esther and her Courage... Brought me to tears.. many many times I would feel heart ache and discouragement and I would watch this video. As I kept attending the 12 step meetings I also found courage from others that would see miracles working in their own lives because they too applied these step of repentance, steps of forgiveness in their own lives.. I can't tell you how many times me and my husband would be on the brink of divorce only to have a miracle happen and us make it through yet another trying time together. A month went by from when I started the 12 step program and applying the steps... And My husband saw the mighty changes in me and he asked me if I would be sealed to him for time and eternity.. Yet another miracle.. I was suppose to be moving out by the end of that month. WE met with our bishop & stake President to get the paper work going and we were sealed on the day of our 4 year wedding anniversary. I walked inside the Bridal Room of the Brigham City Lds Temple to prepare chance into my temple clothes and there in the room hung one picture.. It was a picture of Queen Esther.. I broke down and cried.. I went up to that picture of her and I said "Thank you... Thank you for helping me get here." That picture hanging in that bridal room was a tender mercy and a beautiful reminder to me of how much work and faith and miracles and courage it took to get there...

4 comments:

  1. Heidi! I am so glad I found your blog. I hope you are doing well. I've been thinking about you. I'd love to catch up some time! Congratulations on your sealing g.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Heidi! I am so glad I found your blog. I hope you are doing well. I've been thinking about you. I'd love to catch up some time! Congratulations on your sealing g.

    ReplyDelete